QuestionsCategory: Marriage & Divorcehusband-wanting-divorce-because-he-is-not-ready-for-marriage
Annonymous asked 10 months ago

Assalamu alaikum, May Allah reward you for all your efforts in all that you do. I am in one of my lowest points in my life and I do not know what to do. I have exhausted all my efforts in making dua profusely and making istighfar. I have recently got married to a good brother a few months ago. Before that we were speaking for sometime and have similar goals in life which is to come closer to Allah and raise a good family. In the past few weeks I found him to be a bit distant and not affectionate. When I raised this issue he shocked me by saying that 1. we are not compatible 2. He realised he is not ready for marriage 3. He is not attracted to me 4. what he wants to do is learn Qur’an in a muslim country.

In trying to find out the root of the issues, he admitted that he was viewing pornography for 10years (He stated he has repented and is seeking help and counselling). And last viewed a few weeks ago. I feel used and not valued and finding these things have completely shattered me as we have discussed most things before marriage. My husband can at times be haste in his decisions as previously moved from job to job and states. He still feels marriage is not for him and the attraction issue is still there. In saying that he agreed that he will try and make things work these next six months. I want to support him and I still believe he is a good person but I also want to take care of myself and not feel undervalued. Next week he is starting a fly in -fly out job that requires him to travel 2 weeks for work and back home for 1 week. I am really afraid that it will distance us as I do not have clear answers to where the relationship is going. It seems as though I am the one trying to make this marriage work. He believed we will try our best but to expect the worse to happen (which is divorce).

1 Answers
Best Answer
ISCC Staff answered 9 months ago

Wa Alykum Assalam
Your husband is wrong and is making a big mistake. You need to take care of yourself and do not depend on him. He will soon or later will end this marriage. May Allah guide him ameen