QuestionsCategory: Beliefs in IslamI think i committed shirk more than once
Selsabil asked 8 months ago

Salam i am a 19 years old muslim who has been suffering for many monthes and i really need help so please read my message. When i was 14 i used to really love korean boy bands ALOT and used to listen to their song daily while singing along to them. After some time, i decided to stop listening to music because i knew it was haram and enjoyed my life without music. Unfortunatly this last summer i got back to listening to those songs again and one of them had the word “goddess” in it astaghfirullah and i used to hate that part and not sing along to it but once sang it and made istighfar as soon as i did ( i dind’t say that word to anyone i just sang along it and in my heart i love allah and i know he is the only GOD). I continied living my life normally until one night i had a dream that was like a wake up call to me (i was visiting a burned house in the dream) and woke up instantly after having that dream and made istighfar and prayed and made duaa ( in the last third of the night) after making that dream i remembered that thing that i did and made tawbah for committing shirk but soon after i red a commentary on facebook that was bad towards Allah bit since it was in arabic i didn’t understand it was bad until i saw a reply and made istighfar and made tawbah for shirk again but i didn’t knew that it was bad. Now i am living a miserable life and i’m always crying and cannot do anything anymore. I am afraid of hellfire so please help me go throught this i don’t want to lose my iman and i love allah and his messenger (saws) and have never thought i would do shirk my selfe and feel miserable. Please note that i have always been praying and always had a strong bealief in my religion even when i was listening to that music).