Im suffering from the issue over around past 2 months. I was having physiotherapy treatment for unknown knee pain just for around 7 days and after the fourth days treatment I couldn’t stop getting remembered by the girl who was treating me. I felt something’s wrong and decided not to go for the therapy anymore to save myself from anything that I didn’t wanted to happen. The next two days which I didn’t go for the therapy I felt extreme pain/depression and something else driving me so much towards that girl which I in fact tried to control but failed to since I couldn’t work, sleep, eat and couldn’t even stay inside home that made me roam whole night. I turned restless which I hated that it’s been happening. After 2 days I decided to just express this to that girl whom I never knew her name/religion/if she’s already married (I was really feeling bad). Before that I explained this whole scene that happened in the 2 days to my family, right then my mom asked me not to go there anymore, but which I couldn’t obey. I just went to her with few questions to ask that 1. If she’s a Hindu(which I suspected), 2. If she’s married/unmarried 3.if she would revert to Islam in case if she felt the same way I was feeling towards her where I really was expecting her to say that she’s not interested, as I never expected me doing such things in my life. 4. In case if she says yes and if their parents would accept it, only then I was looking to proceed talking about this with my family as there was already so much of chaos going on after I explained my feelings which none of them expected(including me) . And I met her, asked the questions, she can’t answer any question instantly which I just asked her to respond instantly as I wasn’t looking to develop it. And like I expected she said that she’s not interested on my 3rd question which I was very happy at that moment that I would escape from that situation since she already said no and I had no interest in haunting back for any relationship. I left the place thanking her for the reply and moved out of town. Then I got a call from an unknown number where to my knowledge I still feel like it was her since I just heard just a few words and just being silent. I got extremely scared that I couldn’t handle that situation.. and said this to my family and there was so much confusion/anger/arguments etc where I decided to listen to them and asked them to do whatever they want since they were pointing out that getting me married would fix the issue. And in a day or two I heard from my family that some old relations were interested to see me to marry her daughter.. and hearing that which I never expected to happen just in a day or two after so much confusions on my head already, I couldn’t take it easy and ended up in a quarrel. And this continued for around the next 4 or 5 days where everyday I talked with family justifying things which always ended up in quarrel even I have visited a psychiatrist if I could get a cure from there. Then I thought all about this that I felt that I could not justify things anymore and gave up which I felt that I could move on after sometime. And my parents locked me in a situation that they approached that old relatives only after I accepted which I did in emotion. Being in that situation I couldn’t take a decision to stop that with so many things running on mind where sometime I felt like everything is for fine since family was happy doing that. And in few days the relatives met me and they all made things very fast and positive where they decided a date of my marriage Insha Allaah. And I moved out of town to stay away from home that I couldn’t resist my anger and I wanted to concentrate on my work which I couldn’t staying together. And now though I’m working I still couldn’t take it easy and can feel the anger really isn’t getting away yet. I feel like I’m doing my best to solve all this but I have no idea what to do further, though im letting days to go, but I couldn’t throw these out of my mind which I really want to.
I don’t even know if this feeling is called as love either.. but after thinking about my whole life, I never had any such thing that attached me this serious. Sorry for the very long post, I just wanted to explain things very clear so that the issue doesn’t go out of context. I tried my best to stay away from this since she was also non Muslim, but again I just asked my family to look on this issue if in case if there was a chance that she could revert and everything goes fine which they denied it without any consideration. And I couldn’t make any further moves on the same and just wanted my guardians to help me on the same. And even though I accepted for marriage in emotional situations I cant let myself happy in seeing the proposed girl and the marriage has been fixed in the upcoming months in this situation.
Hope I get some serious assistance on the issue .