QuestionsCategory: Marriage & DivorceNo compromise resulting in divorce?
Umar Mahmood asked 1 year ago

A.S.A Sheikh,
We recently had a baby and its been 1 year we have been having martial problems. I can’t take the arguments and the constant struggle anymore and constantly thinking of ending this relationship.

That being said: I want to put everything I can in this marriage before exiting. Sorry I’m the husband.
Here is the main issue:
My father passed away last year. He was intensive care for about 5 years, with my mother providing primary care. Now my mother has no place to live and me being the eldest son ,I would like her to live with me ( We ahve 3 Bedrrom house, big enough for everyone – 2000sq ft)
Also everything I am today , is coz of my mothers efforts
she worked two jobs, not eating her self but putting me through school etc.

My wife does not want my mother in the house.
My wife does not want any of my sister or brother in the house either. Otherwise she has a good relationship with them.
She does not want any of her sibilings to visit her either.
I can barely live in my own house. Her position is once you are married, your relationships before marriage stop existing and u shold be only deidicated to your new family.
 
Also she does not cook and have never cooked. And I have never asked her for that.
She does not like to clean and I have never asked her to clean. Although she has told me that If I dont properly clean the house, she will have to get a cleaning lady.
Basically she has stated  that its her house, her career and her money. If no one else fits into that, they can leave.
Its not her house by way but thas ok.
We both make decent money however with day care and mortgage and everything, we can afford 1 house. There is no financial room to rent another place for my mother to stay and have monthly allowance on top.
Also my mother is old and would need someone with her to do groceries adn etc.
I have ben a loving husband and have catered to every single request from my wife and the only expectationI had asked her in return was to give respect to my mother and develop a good relationship.
 
My mother is now living with me for the past 8 days. My wife comes out of the bedroom, eat her breakfast, lunch and dinner and goes bakc in her room. 
She says she is offended that my mother is here. And she cannot continue like this.
I’ve asked that I can sell my house and we can move in a basement, In that way I can afford to have two separate place for you and my mother.
Her response was ” I dont work so i can live in a basement, this your problem not mine”
According to my research, She has the right to ask me for her own place.
HOwever what should I do in this case: 
Should I kick out my mother from my house?
I think your answer may include that we can both compromise and come to a more balanced option however  my wife has said that she has no compromise in this case and Islam has allowed her to ask for her own place.
 
Anything would help !
Thank you
 
 
 
We have been married three years.
 
I want to support my faimly