QuestionsCategory: Marriage & Divorceam-i-wrong-to-want-a-divorce
afaf asked 4 months ago

Asalam Alikum. I am a 21 year old girl. I got married when I was 18 about to turn 19. I got enaged when i was 16. I grew up in america most of my life but my family is very traditional. Once they told me about the guy that asked for my hand everyone around me made it seem like the best decision and that i should say yes. no one forced me or anything. he lived in the middle east all his life and my family told me i dont have to worry about anything because he is very open minded basically everything i wanted to hear. however a month after my engagement ent i started to regret it and after a couple months i spoke to some of my siblings about it but they just told me that its normal and once im married i will love him. after about 1 1/2 yrs of being engaged my parents found out that i smoked weed. they were very mad and they just didn’t nt look at me the same. a couple months later they set uo for us to go over seas and for me to get married. I tried explaining to my parents that i didnt feel comfortable with him and the time wasnt right because none of my siblings could come to my wedding at that time and that we should just at least postpone it to the next year. they refused and said they know whats best for me which kind of made me feel like they just wanted to get rid of me. Once we went overseas i was not happy i would cry all the time but i couldnt say no i didnt want to upset my family. Once i got married i still didnt feel cofrtable with him and i would cry almost every night even though i tried my best to make it work. he was nice and treated me good but i just couldnt love him be confortable around him and we were just very different. once i came back i stayed with my family for about a 1 1/2 and i told them i wantd a divorce. my mom told me that if i go live with him for 6 months and i still feel the same she will stand by my side. i went overseas and lived with him for 8 months. he was kind and nice most of the time but i just couldnt feel comfort or love for him. i didnt like when he would touch me or kiss me i just felt disgusted by him. I dont know what to do because i dont want to dissapoint Allah and my parents but i just am not happy or comfortable with him. if i do seek divorce am i wrong and will i be punished for it? sorry for the long story but i wanted you to know my circumstances.