Mufti , I want to ask .
I am widow.
I once committed adultery with two different man. man A ( He have wife) and man D ( he haven’t wife ) .
9 month ago, i with man A did the often zina.
2 month ago, I hooked up with man D.
Even times several ago , more 2 times.
in a day, i committed adultery with man D and a few hours later I had sex videocall with man A.
I’m like a whore who doesn’t think about sin back then.
With man D, I committed adultery, and men D said he drank my breast milk 3 times.
At that time I read on the internet, there were differences in the fatwa.
At that time I believed in the opinion of the scholars, adults drink breast milk do not cause mahram. I sure because men D hasn’t drank 5 times.
In my heart I felt safe about the breastfeeding mahram at that time despite although there are differences of opinion.
At that time, I had asked for a fatwa with a scholar in my country, the Scholars said adults drink breastmilk don’t cause mahram.
I repent (but, in my heart I thought we would definitely commit adultery again and it’s okay if men D drinks my breastmilk 5 times) but for a moment I also afraid that 5 times drinking breast milk causes mahram.
a few days later I committed adultery again. I request men D not to suck my milk (because in my heart i am afraid of the fatwa on the internet”adult if 5 times drinking breast milk causes mahram”).
but men D still drank it(this is the 4 ).
and the last relationship I remember men D did not drink breast milk ( but i afraid forgot or syak).
Since then I was worried and afraid that if man D married me later and drank my fifth breast milk, I was afraid man D would become my mahram. and it occurred to me, man D shouldn’t suck my milk if man D marries me later so as not to make him my mahram. was anxious and afraid this keeps bothering me.
Then, when I asked the scholars in my country again , they said there was no mahram relationship between me and man D.
I have calmed down and trust.
which is my problem now.
1 month ago, I try to ask men A, via phone. I ask men A, whether during adultery 9 month ago he ( men A) was drank my breast milk?
he ( men A) answer he never drank breastmilk me. when I asked again 2 weeks ago, men A remembered that there was 1 times he drink my breast milk. And men A remembers only once, but if he drink more one, he didn’t know and didn’t feel it was.
1) how is the status relationship ( about mahram ) between me and man A and man D ?
What if man A and man D had already drunk my breast milk 5 times.
2) Did i do forbidden talfiq (التَّلْفِيقُ)?
because 1 problem ” Breast feeding”
At first I was sure that adults drinking breastmilk did not cause mahram.But I was worried when men D drank milk again (this is the 4).
that time i request he not to suck my milk(because i afraid of the fatwa on the internet”adult if 5 times drinking breast milk causes mahram)
now I can only pray to marry man A, we both repent now.
Man A will divorce his wife, because they often fight economic problems and debt, do disagreements that often occur between the two of them.
8 weeks ago, I have repented nasuha. I regret my actions. now me not committed adultery again.
now i still communicate with men A and men D via messenger and video call.
but never sex videocall again.