QuestionsCategory: Character & Moralseverybody-misunderstands-me
Humaira Yusuf asked 2 years ago

Assalamu Alaikum, I am in great pain. Please help me. I am a follower of Allah (SWT), Nabi Kareem (SM) and the holy Quran. I will not say I can follow everything, but I always try to be on Allah\’s path. Such as I don\’t lie, I don\’t have any greed, I try to help people in every possible way, I try to say my prayer almost everyday, I don\’t ill mouth about others, I don\’t see bad things, don\’t use bad words, I always try to be humble about everything, I don\’t brag about anything because I believe whoever I am and whatever I have today is from Allah (SWT); I always try not to harm people, not even a soul. However, because of my such morals, I have been misunderstood since my childhood. Everybody avoided me because they thought they couldn\’t do whatever they want in my presence. They cannot use bad words, cannot say bad things behind others back, cannot see bad things. All my brothers and sisters used to hang out without me because they thought I am nothing but a problem. I would complain about them to others. I never had any friends, I never had anybody with whom I can talk. Things haven\’t changed a bit after so many years. I am married now and I still have to hear the same thing. My husband is undoubtedly a good person and supports me in every possible way. But he gets irritated when I ask him to say his prayers or to do something which will be good for him. Just like others he portrays me as a selfish person who can only think of herself. Although I was not sure what selfish reason would I have just to ask him to say his prayers or to follow Allah\’s path. He called me a spy when I got a glance of his laptop screen while working household chores. I felt terrible as all my life I tried my best to be honest and truthful and he doesn\’t believe me at all.  Last week he told me bad things over a simple issue and didn\’t bother to say Sorry. Instead he tried to justify this thing along with my brother. They said it is a normal thing to say bad words these days and I shouldn\’t make any issue out of it. I was overreacting. I was truly hurt because any kind of bad words hurt me. But they were blaming me instead saying I am invading their freedom of speech, I am not a good person, I am hurting them, I shouldn\’t ask for Sorry, they will not repent over such a silly issue etc. They are blaming me for not having friends ever.  I don\’t know what to say. I couldn\’t make them understand that this is a bad thing and may affect their life later. I don\’t want my dear ones to be fall into Allah (SWT)\’s wrath. But they are saying I am cursing them which I will never ever do (Astagfirullah). I feel disastrous now. I feel like I am misfit in this world. I am having bad dreams of getting beaten by people. I am getting sick and depressed with every passing moment. Please help me. Give me some advise that will help me to have some mental peace, that will tell me I am not a monster. I am in grave pain. I cannot die, but I cannot live in this world either. Please help