QuestionsIm feeling suicidal, please help
Ridd Hossein asked 3 years ago

As-salamu-alaykum,
My name is Ridd, i am 22 years old. 5 years ago i met a girl and we end up in a relationship and did some real zina. then i did some terrible thinks to her and then she left me and started to hate me so much. i repent to allah and i tried to forget her but i can’t. i started to miss her more than usual, remember more than usual, think about her more than usual…..i love her so much that i can’t explain. she’s a righteous women. now i want her back. in halal way. as my wife. i don’t want to do zina anymore. i can do anything to get her back, any good deeds….i am ready to leave all my bad deeds. i just want to hug her one more time and say sorry for what i did……i think without her my this life and hereafter both are worthless. i want to be with her for internal life……is there any 2nd chance? or just lost is lost? what can i do now? i am feeling suicidal now. would Allah help me? or just watch me suffer to death??