QuestionsCategory: Marriage & DivorceMarital questions
Shake asked 4 months ago

Assalam alaikum.
I feel trapped in my marriage. I have left many times in the past 6 years, to his sisters houses, to my parents house. He ends up creeping his way in and manipulating me. There’s so much to say. There was physical abuse in the past. I called the police and got a restraining order. He ended up following me to the community centre where I took my daughter swimming, and gave me false hope of a better life. Now, with 4 kids, he is still so controlling of my daily actions in the house. He is constantly telling me to clean the house, mop the floors, dust. That is 90% of the dialogue he has with me. The rest is if I am feeding his kids. I am feeling miserable. I don’t feel the love from him at all. He only cares about his children and his mother, whom I have to obey at all cost. If she says I should give the kids a bath at 10 pm, then I have no choice but to do it, regardless of how tired I am. If I have not washed one plate, he brings it at my bedside at night. He takes the child benefit money. He doesn’t give me any spending money. I receive 1000$ from welfare, which he was taking half of until recently when I objected. I have to pay the groceries and all other expenses for kids with whatever I have. His sister pays for the mortgage and utility. He works but I don’t know what he does with his earnings. I see others around me with beautiful relationships and how I wish I was in one too. I don’t know what to do as I have no financial security. My kids are 8,4,2 and 8 months. I never used my bachelors degree in marketing. After having my first child I have been home having more kids and taking care of the house. I feel as though I cannot live like this. Every time I leave, I always come back and hid sisters gave warned me not to do so. I feel like I am guilty of keeping the kids away from their father. He warns me if I leave he will have nothing to do with the children. I feel stuck. Please guide me.