QuestionsCategory: Marriage & DivorceMarriage-advice
Sal asked 4 months ago

Salaam Aliakum 
Ive been married for over 4 years ago prior to getting married my husband told me following:

  • said he and his family eats halal 
  • he prays
  • he does not do drugs
  • Said he is financially secure to support me
  • said if his ex wife says anything bad to me he will speak to her 
  • He didn’t also tell me his ex wife and two kids spends lots of money
  • also didn’t mention that he has been suspended from driving and has over$10,000 in fines to pay

After getting married:

  • his ex wife always swore at me and threatened me but he didn’t speak to her nor put a stop to her abusive behaviour 
  • She said bad things to me in front of the kids 
  • because of the stress and abuse she gave me at the start I fell ill and had to see a specialist to which I went back to Uk to get treatment as I could only stay in Canada for 6 months at a time because he didn’t do my application for my PR
  • his kids never acknowledged me, never even said salaam Even though I was really nice to them and did everything for them
  • I found out he lied to me about the drugs he was a drug addict
  • I found out he is suspended and couldn’t get his licence back until he aid of the $10,000 and Was dependent on me
  • he didn’t do my work permit nor my Permanent Residency application because he wanted me to drive work vehicle and work with him
  • he kept all work money didn’t give me my share of work income nor any financial support as a husband 
  • he used money on his drugs, bought his kids expensive things and his ex would always ask for $$$ gave her money but when I needed even basic things he said he doesn’t have any money
  • because he didn’t do my paperwork I couldn’t get health cover in Canada and when I was ill he never took me for treatment or got me medication 
  • He stole $6,000 of my money my family gave me and my gift money and took out money from my Uk account because he saw me using my debit card at atm once so saw the pin and then took my card without my permission and withdrew all money 
  • he has been abusive towards me physically and verbally for over 4 years now 
  • i also found out he and his family don’t eat halal and they all made fun of me saying what is halal and at the beginning made me eat non halal and said it was halal but afterwards I stopped eating meat at his parents house 

my queations are:
had he told us about his drugs and his kids and ex spend a lot of money and he was in debt and that he wont do my paperwork so I can work in job and support myself at least and that he won’t support me financially or that he has anger management problems I would have not have agreed to marry him nor would have my family agreed.
my family paid for the wedding and I also used my income to pay for some things I bought for the wedding 
so should he pay me and family back what we spent on the wedding because he deceived us into this marriage with lies and withholding things that were going to affect me in the long run. 
and should he give all money he took of mine that my family gave me and he stole from my Uk account took without my permission?
also because he didn’t do my paperwork and made me work with him should he pay me my work income or give me approx of what I could have earned being a university law graduate had he done my paperwork
Should he pay me for wasting my 4 years and not being able to earn an income for myself? 
Also when he got divorced with his ex a mortgage free house with basement done so she was renting basement out for $1000 each month and she had two incomes and government child support and he was buying the kids things with my share of work money and gave her my share of work money but she was always complaining she has no money and I had one income from the work I did with him and even that he kept and didn’t give me and didn’t give any financial support is that fair? 
When we sold the house we were living she put $50,000 lien on house claiming he never got the kids anything and didn’t give her any money but she lied she and kids were getting things and money but because she always kept the receipts and always wanted cash in hand he had no paper trail of what he spent and gave her even when he asked her bank details so he can put money into the account so he can have paper trail she made excuses she don’t have details.
am I entitled to get same amount he gave her because somebody told me that in Islam if man had two wives he has to give equal but she was his ex wife and if he gives to kids he has to treat kids and wife equally not but expensive things in hundreds and thousand for kids and when wife wants to spent even $10 he says why do you need it and just gets angry 
I would appreciate it if you can you can answer my questions and advise me on my rights as his wife. 
Jazakallah khair 
Sister Sal