QuestionsCategory: Marriage & Divorcemarriage-question
shamila asked 2 months ago

As-salāmu ʿalaykum
 
I have a question to ask you with regards to marriage. I have been sent a marriage proposal by a Muslim Brother who wants a second wife but wants this nikkah to be done in secret from his first wife. He has mentioned that he has asked permission from his first wife but she denied him having a second marriage. He has spoken to his wife’s brother who said we are happy for you to have a second wife in secret. 
 
The reason this Muslim Brother wants a second wife is to save his wedding, as he doesn’t want to divorce his second wife who has a child with him. The reason why this Muslim Brother choose me, as he said you are 41 years old, divorced and you work. 
 
The Muslim Brother lives in Sweden with his first wife and child, he has no intentions of moving me to Sweden or moving himself to the Canada. When I asked how he will look after me financially and treat both wives the same, this is the answer I got from him: 
 
I can only pay for your clothes and food, you will have to stay at your parents house and keep working and looking after yourself financially. I can only see you once a month, as this marriage is a secret from my first wife and I can’t afford a house for you or pay bills. 
 
Please can you tell me Islamically, is the above correct way of treating your second wife and I feel bad accepting a marriage proposal that a Muslim brother is sending in secret from his first wife. My heart does not agree with it, I rather get advice before I give my final answer to my parents. 
 
Thank you very much and I hope I have made myself clear. 
 
Jazāk Allāhu Khayran