I’m a revert to islam and i’m having trouble.
I’ve been fasting for ramadan up until now, it is my first ramadan.
My mental health is really really bad, and has hit as to say pretty rock bottom multiple times during ramadan, but was worse before ramadan. I find it hard to navigate right and wrong on my own, and I get anxiety attacks thinking I will go to hell, and i’m scared it will get worse now that I realize what i’ve done
I try to stay calm and remember Allahs mercy but it’s very hard alone especially with my mental health
I get anxiety attacks and extreme intrusive thoughts that tell me the opposite of what I need to hear
Please please answer this
Is there any advice to what I mentioned above? I feel really really scared, and I know Allah is One and Muhammad (pbuh) is His last messenger, but I was guided to islam with heavy anxiety as i came from a troubling past and I find it hard now to just find peace, and my mind is hard on me. please help me with this and what i mention below, please
As related to what i found out that I had done is that i’ve eaten pork on accident (vomited after and felt bad), said astaghfirullah; is that enough to say or is there more i have to do? I also ate multiple candy with animal derived ingredients and haram meat in early ramadan, I didn’t check closesly enough if I can eat it and I feel really bad and irresponsible
Please give me advice