QuestionsCategory: Character & MoralsMother daughter conflict
Elisabeth asked 2 years ago

Hi, I really hope you can help me with a situation that makes me very sad. I married my second husband 7 years ago, and became Muslim. I have a 26 year old daughter from my first marriage. My daughter and my husband dislike each other intensely. My husband perceives my daughter as very impolite, she says she is scared of him and feels that he has taken me away from her. The conflict between them this past year has been that she wants me to to visit her and my new grandchild at her home, but my husband wants her to visit me at our home (when he is not at home) His opinion is that a daughter should show her respect to her mother by visiting. My daughter does not want to visit my home because my husband smokes, and she says this is not good for the baby. Part of the story is that she has OCD. My husband would not let me visit her each time, saying that she should visit me sometimes. She felt that I was manipulating her when I tried to persuade her to visit, and now she has broken contact. My husband is content with the situation, saying that she is not a good person and will never change. I am terribly sad, and I think she is too. We have not had contact for 2 months, which also means I have not seen my grandson. I get all their news through my old father who is also very sad about the situation. She is my only child and we have always been very close. Her husband is Christian and I think she has taken his faith (without it being official) We live in England and she has been brought up in a western culture. The only other family I have is my brother. He and his wife and children have taken my daughters side. They think I’m a very bad person especially since I was against my daughter’s marriage, because I would have liked her to marry a Muslim, and I find him immature, and did not go to the wedding. I have lost almost all my friends because of this also. I feel very unhappy and lonely. Please help. I feel it would be right for me, both as a mother and a Muslim to try to fix the relationship with my daughter, but my husband does not agree.