Proudmuslima asked 5 years ago

Al salam aleykum! I hope somebody can take the time to read this and help me out.  So, alhamdolellah I am a married woman, no children yet, but I live with  my mother in law together with my husband.. She used to be very sweet woman when I first got to meet her, before me and my husband got married.. she was very kind and seems  to be very nice..  THEN when me and my husband decided to get married, she became (astagfurallah) a shaytan.. she started to act very badly, she started to talk about me to him and started to say that there are other girls he could marry besides me, she also started to give me \\\”the look\\\”, and by \\\”the look\\\” I mean she sees down on me like I am a bad person.. ALLTHOUGH I havent done anything to her and treated her with all of the respect and Allah knows how much i valued. THIS became a very big issue for me. After we got married and moved in to her house because we cant yet afford living alone ( its expensive here), she started to be meaner and meaner… all the time she is complaining about me, all the time she is talking about me, all the time i HEAR her talking about me, and all I do is keep quite and sad about it, and when my husband asks me whats wrong I cant tell him whats wrong because she is his mother.. and till the end I told him EVERYTHING… I told him that she talks about me to Allah knows who … and that always she complains about me and that she hates me and also called me (astagfufrallah al 3athim Inshallah allah forgives me for this word), a slut. ALL SHE WANTS IS ME out of her sons life! She wants him all by herself, and i UNDERSTAND she feels that way, she is a mother.. but she doesnt understand what it feels like for me when she is trying to get me divorced here… !I HAVE been tolerating all this, but I cant handle it anymore.. I cant handle her talking about me all the time.. I sometimes call my mother because I am very sad and my mother only says to me to keep quite and dont talk or give attention, but its very hard to not pay attention to it when EVERY time i see my mother in laws face I just want to .. OH ALLAH! I dont know what to say anymore.. its disturbing, its unhealthy and she is very unhealthy for me.. It went weeks and I had so bad dreams, all the time I kept dreaming about bad things, all the time I felt uncomfortable..  I CONFRONTED HER about everything she said about me, and in the end she said I am lying and that I am Psycho… that didnt even make it any better! This is 1-2 months ago, but till the day today I am very upset, very mad and I cant forgive her.. but again WHO am I to forgive or anything, I say HisbiAllah O naama al wakil! Allah will take care of her. I am just upset, I feel hate when I see her, I feel I cant smile at her, I cant talk with her because she is very sarcastic, she is a lying person, she also steals things from me and doesnt ask for my permission. She goes inside my room without my permission and takes my things.. I cant trust her! I dont know what to do anymore, this is driving me crazy!    My question here is;Ya rabbi! What can I do to be patient till me and my husband have moved out? Is it haram to feel that I cant stand her? Is it haram of me to not wanting to talk with her?Is it haram of me about anything regarding this? I still do respect her, I just think she is unhealthy for me, she makes me depressed and sad! I pray alhamdolellah all the prayers! I wake up in the night and pray and astagfur allah for everything and I always ask for forgiveness and for power.    Please help me out! I dont know what to feel anymore.. I love him so mucha and I just want to take him and escape from this place! I want to move to a different country where I live in peace. with him!