QuestionsCategory: Marriage & Divorceparents-refusing-marriage
W asked 7 months ago

I am a 27-year-old and informed my parents I was interested in marriage with a man who is from a different country in Africa, who is Muslim and practicing. We have both tried to reduce contact and have spoken with a mahram present and are interested in marrying. However, once I informed my parents, I was told that as he is not from the same country they would not continue the conversation and shut it off and said some awful things regarding the brother\’s home country, my character and what would happen to me if I get married e.g. disowned, and beaten by him.
I attempted to let them calm down before approaching this again, however was approached more than once with more insults and told that I should pick between the man or my family which I refused as I had wanted to sit and talk about this with them. Therefore, both parents have not asked any questions regarding him and do not want to listen to any.    I spent the next 2 weeks hiding in my room and avoiding my parents however by week 3, I was approached again and with additional insults and awful words and I was kicked out of the home. This was in January therefore I have not been back. I have attempted to speak to both parents however nothing has changed and they have cut me off and refuse to discuss e.g. the brother and his character. I try to speak to my mother often however once I bring this up, I\’m told its decided and she does not agree.    I have siblings who are supportive including 4 brothers Alhamdulilah. I have tried to wait to see if my parents will change their minds however there has not been any movement. With this reaching a year in January, I cannot delay marriage any longer as I have struggled and do not want to be dragging this brother along too as I have not changed my mind.   
How would marriage be approached in this manner? Would it have to be my eldest brother to be my waali or can it be any of the brothers?  If I am able to get any advice on the situation in general, I would appreciate it as I love my parents and the ideal situation would be their happiness and involvement, however I do not want to risk my happiness where there is no actual reason to reject the marriage other than stereotypes. It is very difficult to continue to debate with my parents about this as the period during this has been very difficult for me to handle.   

1 Answers
Best Answer
ISCC Staff answered 7 months ago

Wa Alykum Assalam,
Your parents are wrong and they should not be becoming obstacles in this marriage as it meets all the Islamic and legal requirements. You can marry with this brother. Your brothers and other friends can be the witness. May Allah give you happiness. Thanks