Nejoud asked 2 years ago

Last year, someone I know was struggling with her job. She is a hairdresser and an immigrant, so she was far away from her family. I began to help her to pay the rent (it was a small amount). Today, she called me to let me know that because of the money I have been giving her on a monthly basis, she has now subscribed to a beauty hair-coloring course. This made me very uncomfortable. When I expressed this to her, she said that from now on, my money will go to the rent and the money she earns from her salary as a hairdresser will go to the academy so she can continue paying installments for the course. It is the same thing, of course, but it made me feel “better.” Tomorrow is the day when I send her money to help her with the rent. And I told her I will send the money. I feel bad for having expressed my discomfort, because we are not supposed to follow charity with injury, but I also feel bad that my money went to a hair-coloring course. How do I proceed, in sha Allah? Since I promised her money for tomorrow, I am obliged to pay, but what about the consequent months? I am quite sure that I told her last year I would help until the pandemic is over, but I feel that now that she is back on her feet, it seems odd to keep helping her if the money is going toward something that could have waited, although she says the certificate will help her in her future success as a hairdresser because it is recognized around the world. I am so embarrassed by this question, but I wish she didn’t tell me where my money was going. She said the first couple of months my money went on the rent, but for the last four months (I think), it has been going toward payment to the beauty academy. Jazak Allah khair, and forgive me for the question, but I want to know whether my discomfort is warranted. I made it clear to her that my money was sent to help keep a roof over her head. Allah provides, of course. But I mean that through His will, of course. And so my money “will go” toward paying the rent, and her salary will go to the academy. Although, technically, it is because of my assistance that she is getting the certificate, so to speak!