QuestionsCategory: Character & MoralsStruggling with Pornography
Nasir asked 4 months ago

Aoa. I am struggling with pornography for around 15 years now. I don’t watch it daily but on overage i watch it once a week. I started off with straight porn but have been watchin gay porn, lesbian porn and crossdressing etc.
This led me to engage in dirty chats, cyber sex etc with both women and men however i never committed adultery in real. I have been resisting for more than a decade now. I feel most guilty about my urges to watch gay pornography and chats with men as naturally i don’t feel any attraction towards men and I know it’s not natural.
I have been married for 5 years and my sex life has been quite ordinary and recently struggling to have active sexual relationship with my wife. We don’t have kids but my addiction to pornography makes me upset and affects my life with depression and anxiety and it will be too much of a responsibility to give a good life to the kid with positivity.
I am not very consistent in my prayers but i stay spirtually conencted with Allah. I cry in my prayers and Duas to Allah to take away my addiction but I almost always relapse within few weeks and then i feel guilty to pray for few days.
Please suggest me. The marriage has helped me to some extent (from 3-4 times a week to once a week). I also don’t talk to girls on phone anymore. I think slowly i am fighting this struggle better but i want to do it on fast track basis as it’s affecting my life badly.
I understand there is no one dua which can fix me. It will be a process with both spirtual and psychological help and willing to invest my time in it. 
Will discussing it with my friends help? Can i discuss it with my female friends as i am too shy to discuss my addiction to gay pornography with my male friends?
Shall I discuss it with my wife? or will it back-fire?
Shall i watch only straight pornography to avoid watching gay pornography?